翻译：610 校对：moki、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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我在溺水 I'm drowning.
快要死了 I'm gonna die.
我甚至都不太... And somewhere I'm not even...
我根本就不信教 但我还是说了 上帝救救我 I'm not religious at all, I said god help me.
然后我被冲上岸了！ And I'm deposited, right on the beach!
我那天不知道为啥就去游泳了 I went swimming that day for some reason,
好像有什么力量吸引着我到水里去 something drew me to the water.
至于是什么力量我也不知道！ Why I don't know!
你知道 就像婴儿被乳头吸引 You know it's like a baby drawn to the nipple.
你猜啥...或者成年人被乳头吸引吧 You know what I... you know or an adult drawn to the nipple.
- 都行 好吧？ - 你知道我怎么想吗 拉里？ - Either way, right? - You know what I think, Larry?
- 这不就是神仙显灵吗？ - 就是！ - Is that divine intervention? - Yeah!
- 难以置信 拉里！ - 这难道不是神仙显灵吗？ - Unbelievable Larry! - Is that not divine intervention?
你知道我怎么想吗 拉里？ You know what I think Larry?
我想这是命中注定 I think this happened for a reason.
对 我也这么觉得 命中注定 Yes, I think so too. It happened for a reason.
是吧 也许你就开始更尊敬他人了 Now, maybe you'll start to be more respectful to people
- 对别人好一些 - 你说啥呢？ - treat people better. - What are you talking about?
我尊敬他人啊！ I'm respectful to people!
- 唔 拉里 呃... - 咋了？咋就呃... - Umh, Larry, Uh... - What, what Uhuh?
- 行吧 随你怎么说 - 我可尊敬人了 - Fine, whatever! Whatever! - I'm respecting people, I respect people!
- 我对他人好的不得了 - 好吧 行吧 - I'm very nice to people. - Yeah, fine.
所以 是吧 哈 神奇吧？ So, anyway, uh, amazing?
神不神奇？ Is that amazing?
真实故事 如假包换！ True story, every word!
敬生命！ To life!
- 你在假期去过礼拜堂吗？ - 当然了 - Have you gone to temple while holidays? - Yeah of course.
我今年想去一趟礼拜堂 I think I wanna go to temple this year
- 是吗？ - 嗯 考虑到发生的这些事儿 - You do? - Yeah, given what happened and everything
你不觉得我该去一下吗？ don't you think I should be there?
该去 去了好着呢 不过你得提前买票 Yeah, it's a great thing, but you gotta get your ticket like...
要提前六个月买 票非常抢手 去这种... 6 months in advance, it's a tough ticket to go to...
为啥犹太人去礼拜堂还要买票 疯了吧？ Why does a Jew need a ticket to go to temple, it's crazy?
我又没说我觉得这事儿合理 不过... I'm not saying I justify it, but...
你的确得买票 反正我的票买好了 you need a ticket, now I've got my tickets.
- 我要怎么买啊？ - 嗯... - How am I gonna get one? - Um...
你猜啥 You know what...
我打电话问问 搞到票了今晚给你打电话吧 I'll make some calls and if I hook one up, I'll call you tonight.
看情况吧 We'll see...
你看看这东西... Look at this thing...
你看这 你见过杯子上这种小把手吗？ Look, have you ever seen a handle like this on a cup
干嘛用的？ What's the point of this?
- 看着像仿制的小茶杯 - 搞不...你看嘛！ - Looks like "pretend little tea cups". - I can't... Yeah look!
看呀 食指都放不进去 做个把手有什么作用？ Look you can't get your index finger in there, what's the point?
我真喜欢看你这么做 I like watching you do that.
我有啥事儿想给你说来着 There was something I wanted to tell you.
哦！ Oh!
我去了利奥熟食店 I went by Leo's delicatessen
你猜我在菜品牌子上看到了啥？ and what's up on the board?
新款三明治叫"拉里大卫款" A brand new sandwich called "The Larry David"
- 不是吧！ - 没骗你 - Get out of here! - Swear to god!
没骗你！ Swear to god!
他们以我命名了一种三明治？ They named a sandwich after me?
他们以你命名了一种三明治！ They named a sandwich after you!
- 你开玩笑吧 - 真的 真的 - You're kidding! - Yep, yep, yep
不敢相信 我上牌子了！ I can't believe it, I'm on the board!
你上牌子了 You're on the board.
什么样的三明治？ What is it?
我想想 有...呃 白鲑鱼 Let's see, there is uh, whitefish...
黑貂鱼 uh sable,
- 刺山柑 洋葱 还有奶油芝士 - 啥 啥？ - uh capers, onions and creme cheese. - What, what?
- 加的这些东西？ - 是的 - That's the sandwich? - Yeah.
- 你有自己款的三明治了 - 这三明治真有够恶心的 - You got a sandwich - That's a disgusting sandwich really.
我去找点东西吃 一会儿见 I'm gonna get something to eat, I'll see you later.
看看这个 Look at this.
- 抱歉 - 我的天！ - Sorry! - Oh boy!
我的天呐 发生什么了？ Oh my gosh, oh what happened?
他撞到我了 He bumped me.
- 你撞他了吗？ - 没有 - Did you bump into him? - No
你明明撞我了 You bumped into me!
- 你敢说没撞我？ - 行了... - You didn't bump into me? - Alright please...
- 咋了？ - 没事 - What happened? - Uh, nothing.
- 准备好走了吗？ - 嗯 你呢？ - Ready to go? - Yeah, you're ready?
- 我们准备走了 - 啥？ - We're gonna take off. - What?
我们和你们拼的车 我还不想走 We carpooled with you, I'm not ready to leave yet.
- 差不多得了 - 拉里你他妈干嘛？ - It's enough already. - Larry what the fuck?
我玩得正开心呢 杰夫他们想走了 I'm having fun, Jeff they wanna go.
- 你们想走了？可我们拼车了呀 - 嗯我们想走了 - You wanna go? We carpooled - Yeah we wanna go.
我们还不准备走 杰夫 We're not ready to leave, Jeff.
- 你快给这个蠢货... - 好了听我说... - You just got this fool... - Alright listen...
你们能找到车回去的 找不到给我打个电话 You'll get a ride and if you don't get a ride, you give me a call.
- 好吧 你会过来... - 哦 你会回来接我们哦 - Fine yeah, you'll be here... - Yeah you'll come back and get us.
- 会的 我回来接你们嘛 - 我信了！ - I will, I'll come back and get you. - I believe that!
叫我发哥！ Call me Mr. Tibbs!
别接 Don't answer that.
有可能是杰夫... Actually it might be Jeff
- 打过来说礼拜堂票的事 - 我不管！ - calling about the temple tickets. - I don't care!
- 我不管 不要接！ - 不不 这还蛮重要的 - I don't care, come on! - No no this is kinda important deal.
- 他会再打过来的 - 不是 我给他说... - Well he'll call back. - He's not, I told him to...
我得听他说说什么情况 喂？ I try and find out, hello?
我打电话问了 没拿到票 Made some calls but no go on the tickets.
- 那可真烦人 - 嗯对不住了 - What a bummer. - Yeah I'm sorry.
不过你猜啥？ But you know what?
- 你总是可以试试黄牛票的 - 真的？这还有黄牛票？ - You can always try for a scalper - Really? They got scalper tickets?
一般是有的 They usually do.
- 贵吗？ - 我也不知道 - Expensive? - I have no idea.
- 好吧 我去买黄牛票吧 - 买黄牛票吧 - Alright, I'll get some scalper tickets. - Get some scalper tickets.
我们直接去 然后试着买买黄牛票 We'll just go down there and try to get some.
- 麻烦你了 - 没事 那我先挂了 - Thanks for trying. - Sure man, I talk to you later.
- 起开！ - 啥？ - Get off! - What?
- 从我身上起开！ - 你干嘛呢？ - Get off of me! - What are you doing?
我干嘛？你在干嘛呢？ What am I doing? What are you doing?
咋了？ What?
有什么大不了的？怎么了嘛？ What's the big deal? What?
你为什么非得接那通电话？ Why do you have to answer the phone?
因为我给你说了我在等一个电话 Cause I told you I was expecting a call.
怎么了嘛？我不... Why? So what? I don't...
晚安 Good night.
哦 是了 Oh, right...
千万不能打断啪啪啪！ Mustn't interrupt intercourse!
神圣的啪啪啪不可被打断！ Oh sacred intercourse cannot be interrupted.
所有人安静！要啪啪啪了 Everybody quiet! Quiet for intercourse.
嘘 别打扰啪啪啪 Shhhht, don't disturb the intercourse.
我给你说... Let me tell you something...
这三明治绝了 我的朋友！ This is some kind of sandwich my friend!
这是我头一回吃... It's the first time I really kvelled...
吃出幸福的感觉来 really swelled up with joy,
你看那个 拉里大卫款三明治 look at that Larry David sandwich.
我真的幸福 I really kvell from this,
这比其他任何事儿都让我感到骄傲 it's something that makes me proud above anything.
好了 好了 我甚至不喜欢这东西 Alright, alright, I don't even like it!
- 啥？ - 我不喜欢 - What? - I don't like it.
不管你说啥了 你说得都很含糊 Whatever you say just now, you mumbled it
你总是说不清楚话 wich is something you do.
成天说话含含糊糊的 You do a lot, you do a lot of mumbling.
- 好吧 - 你对语言没有尊敬感 - Okay - You don't have a lot of respect for speech.
你本可以说清楚一些的 又不会死人 You could speak a little clearer, it wouldn't hurt anybody
- 啊 你还笑我 - 我不尊重语言？ - Ah laughin' in my face! - I don't have respect for speech?
- 对了 - 才不是呢 我可尊重语言了 - That's right - I do, I respect speech.
我不同意 I disagree.
看看谁来了！ Look who's here!
嘿 利奥！ Hey, Leo!
很高兴见到你 So good to see you.
以及另一位大卫先生 Oh and Mr. David two.
还好吗 先生 一切都好？ How are you Sir, how are you?
好 好 谢谢你 Fine, fine, thank you.
利奥 首先... Leo, first of all,
我想感谢你 I wanna thank you
把我写在那块牌子上 for putting me up on the board,
让我有自己的一款三明治 having my own sandwich.
拉里大卫款 Larry David sandwich.
你瞧瞧他多骄傲 Look, look how proud he is.
小意思 是我的荣幸 能把拉里大卫款三明治 No problem, it's my pleasure to put the Larry David sandwich
- 写在那牌子上 - 多美妙的事儿啊 - up on the board. - It's such a wonderful thing.
你吃着还喜欢吧 是吗？喜欢吗？ You like it, yeah? You like it?
诶 Eh
这是啥？诶... What is this, Eh?
你知道... You know...
不是特别... Not really a big...
我不是特别喜欢吃鱼 老实给你说 Not really a big fish guy, to tell you the truth.
我们用的全世界最好的白鲑鱼 This is the best whitefish in the whole wide world.
其他地方都没有我这么好的白鲑鱼 No other place got this whitefish but me.
嗯 我相信肯定是 Yeah, I'm sure it is,
但我可能口味不太一样 but I'm more of a, you know, pastrami...
我更喜欢熏牛肉 corned-beef kinda guy.
能给我配一个熏牛肉的吗？ Can I get a pastrami corned-beef thing?
你就是白鲑鱼和黑貂鱼 别挑了 You are the whitefish sable. Period.
你想让我咋办 What do you want me to do?
- 饭店里添些夹子如何呢？ - 不能用夹子！ - What about tong? - No tong!
嘿 我问你啊 Hey let me ask you this ok?
假如我能找到人 和我交换三明治呢？ What if I got somebody to switch sandwiches with me?
- 和你交换？ - 对 比如... - To switch with you? - Yeah maybe, you know uh...
特德丹森啥的 Ted Danson or something...
你怎么看？ What do you think about that?
好吧 我给你说我能做什么... Okay, I tell you what I'm going to do for you...
如果 丹森先生说可以 If the Mr. Danson say Ok
那就可以换 Okay to switch!
- 好叻 谢啦 - 我能帮的忙就尽量帮 - Alright thanks. - If I can do it, I can do it.
- 礼拜堂见 - 好 - I see you at the Temple. - Okay.
老天 那家伙握个手快把我搞骨折了 Jesus, that guy almost broke my hand with that shake.
不要对我说悄悄话 你大声... You don't whisper to me, please don't...
我说他握个手快把我搞骨折了 I said he almost broke my hand with that handshaking.
你知道 有时候 时不时的啊 You know, little time, once in a while,
如果 if you...
如果你对别人友好一点 if you're pleasant to people.
怎么了？ What's the matter?
喝口水 Get a drink of water.
喝点水吧！ Take some water!
没事的 爸 It's ok, Pop!
我知道你没事的 I think you're gonna be alright.
你眼镜在我这儿呢 I got your glasses.
嗯 你父亲轻微中风了 Well your dad has had a mild stroke.
- 真的假的？ - 真的 不过他会好起来的 - Really? - Yes, but he's going to be fine
我给他注射了少量镇定剂 I've got him lightly sedated right now
他在休息中 and he's resting.
不过他状态很好 But he's doing very very well
你没有什么需要担心的 and there's nothing for you to worry about.
- 好吧 - 完全不用担心 - Okay. - Absolutely!
我想我们可能会做个小的矫正手术 My feeling is we may do a little corrective surgery
不确定是什么时候 I don't know exactly when
不过我们得让他住院一段时间了 but we'll have him here for a while.
- 这样会好一些 - 我问问你啊 - It's much better - Let me ask you a question.
我爸和我在熟食店吃东西 My dad and I were eating in the deli
就事发之前 然后... earlier and uh...
事实上餐馆以我命名了一个三明治... Actually they named a sandwich after me...
- 真的吗？ - 真的 我有自己款的三明治了！ - No kidding? - Yeah, I got my own sandwich!
- 真好 - 我上牌子了 - That is great! - I'm up on the board.
拉里大卫款 如果你去的话... The Larry David, if you go in there...
哦我在菜单上看到过 大家各自有自己的三明治 Oh I've seen that on the menu, everybody's got their sandwich.
是 但你知道 坏消息是 Yes but you know, the bad news is that
我只给你说啊 我受不了那三明治 I can't stand the sandwich between you and me.
- 怎么了？ - 我看你退了一下 是我有口气吗？ - What is it? - I see you recoiled a little bit, was it a breath thing?
- 不 不 完全不是 - 你头往后仰了一点 - No, no, not at all. - You put your head back a little bit.
- 没有 不是 - 总之... - Not at all, no. - But anyway, is it...
- 问题来了 - 好 - Here's my question - Okay
有没有可能... Is it possible that the sandwich
中风和那个三明治有什么关系？ could have had something to do with the stroke.
如果在吞咽三明治时 If the sandwich was caught
他呛到了 呼吸困难... and he started choking and couldn't breath...
导致紧张害怕 我觉得是有可能的 and then became fearful, I guess it's possible.
他可能因此血压升高 He could raise his blood pressure
但他没有生命危险 一切良好 已经在休息了 所以... His life is not threatened, he's fine and he's resting, so...
那三明治让他中风了 The sandwich gave him a stroke.
你说气不气人 How do you like this?
三明治！ The sandwich!
你会不会介意我... Do you mind if I...
你知道 我是《宋飞正传》的忠实粉丝... You know I'm a big fan of "Seinfeld"...
- 我不知道你想不想听到这种话 - 为什么不呢？ - I don't know if it bothers you - Why would it bother me?
- 那部剧棒极了 - 谢谢 - It was a wonderful show. - Thank you...
我给你这么说 I tell you what.
我来做你父亲的手术 I'm gonna do your father surgery for you.
我是外科主任 通常呢 I'm chief sugery, usually I...
我是交给别人来做的 不过... delegate it to somebody else, but...
- 我很愿意为了你做这次手术 - 谢谢你 - I would be happy to do this for you. - Thank you
说来 你打高尔夫球对吧？ Now, you're a golfer right?
我无法相信你这样的原因竟可能是那三明治 I can't believe that sandwich might have been responsible for this.
我非常抱歉 I'm so sorry.
白鲑鱼... Whitefish...
为什么他非得给我配个白鲑鱼三明治？ Why did he have to give me whitefish?
有那么多三明治可选 There are so many other sandwiches
熏牛肉 金枪鱼 金枪鱼都可以啊！ Pastrami, Tuna, I would have taken tuna!
虽然都说汞超标... Even with the mercury...
这儿好臭啊... It stinks in here...
你猜啥 我想是吃了洋葱的味道 You know what, I think it's smell from the onion!
你想来颗薄荷糖吗？ You want a mint?
来一颗吧 Take a mint.
不要薄荷糖吗？ No mint?
我手上一整包呢 I got a whole hand full of them.
啥？ What?
你想说啥？ What is it?
我是医生？ I'm a doctor?
我... I'm...
被收养？ adopted?
收养？ Adopted?
- 你说我是被收养的？ - 对不起 我得让你离开这个房间了 - Did you say I'm adopted? - I'm sorry, I have to ask you to leave the room.
现在！ Now!
- 收养...你是说... - 你得离开了 - Adopted, you said... - You're gonna have to leave now.
走了 好了 走吧 Let's go, come on, let's go!
我想我是被收养的 我也许是被收养的 I think I'm adopted, I might be adopted...
我想我是被收养的 我可能是被收养的 I think I'm adopted, I could be adopted.
我也许是被收养的... I might be adopted...
- 丹妮斯 嘿！ - 你从哪儿冒出来的？ - Dennis, hey! - Where do you come from?
- 楼上... - 楼上？什么鬼 - Upstairs... - Upstairs? What the...
我暂停一下可以吗？ Do you mind if I stop this for a second?
我有个想法 也许这样好笑一点... I have an idea, maybe it'd be more funny...
我怀疑很久了 真的 I suspected this a long time, I really did.
唯一... 我唯一和他像的地方 The only thing... the only noticeable thing I have in common with him...
说真的 就只有我的字 我俩写的字蛮像的 honest to god, is my penmanship I noticed there's a similarity.
会不会是中风 Isn't there something with the stroke...
让他脑子缺氧不清楚了？ ...with oxygen to his brain or something?
- 说真的 领养？ - 别扫我兴好吧！ - Come on, adopted? - Don't ruin this for me!
- 我没有要扫你兴 - 别抢我风头！ - I'm not trying to ruin it for you. - Don't rain on my parade!
- 瞧瞧谁来了！ - 嘿 - Hey look who's here! - Hey!
嘿 伙计！ Hey, man!
不能握手 手指伤了 Can't shake, bad fingers...
我太沮丧了！我演的非常差劲 I'm so bummed out! I'm awful in this.
- 不是你的原因 - 我不再好笑了 - It's not you. - I'm not funny anymore!
是剧本的原因 It's the writing.
不过你来这儿干嘛？ Why are you here by the way?
哦我们刚好... 我刚好在他办公室 Oh we were just... I was at his office...
想着带他拜访你一下呗 我给他说你在这儿拍戏了 Thought I'd bring him by. Told him you were filming here.
- 他好激动的 - 嗯 我想着来看看你们拍试播集嘛 - He got all excited. - Yeah, I figured I would check out the pilot.
十分感谢 I really appreciate it.
以及 你猜啥？ And uh, oh guess what?
利奥 你知道... Leo's... You know...
- 他们家以我命名了一种三明治 - 真的吗？ - They named a sandwich after me. - Oh you're kidding me?
- 真的啊 那太好了 - 我有自己款的三明治了！ - Oh you're kidding, that's great! - I have a sandwich!
- 这真是好极了老哥 - 我上牌子了 - That's wonderful man! - I'm on the board.
- 你成了 - 我上牌子了！ - You've arrived. - I'm on the board!
- 真好 真是好消息 - 是啊 所以... - That is fantastic, that's good news. - Yep, so...
问题是我在想啊 The thing about is I was wondering...
因为我知道 你不怎么去那儿 我总是去那里 cause I know you don't go in there very much, I'm in there all the time.
我一周得去那儿三次 I'm in there three times a week.
主要是因为你反正也不去那儿 And in as much as you don't go in there.
我就在想也许... I was just thinking that maybe...
因为你那款三明治非常好 cause my sandwich is a great sandwich,
但我就不太喜欢鱼 but I'm not really a fish guy.
然后就有点... 你肯定喜欢鱼吧... 你知道... And it's kind of a... you gotta like fish... you know...
哎呀你喜欢鱼 总的来说... You like fish, but anyway...
我就是在想 你介不介意和我换一下？ So I was thinking maybe, you wouldn't mind switching with me.
- 换三明治？ - 对的 因为你又不去那儿吃饭 - Switching sandwiches? - Yeah, you know, cause you don't go in there
我想要吃我自己款的三明治 那样很有趣 I'd like to eat my own sandwich, it would be fun
和我爸一起 吃以我自己命名的三明治 你知道... to go in with my dad, and eat my own sandwich, you know...
好吧 管他呢 为何不可呢？ All right, what the hell, I mean what's the harm?
- 真的？ - 嗯 为什么不呢？ - Really? - Yeah, why not?
哇 特德... 棒极了！ Well, Ted... Fantastic!
不过 以防有人问到我 我的新三明治里有啥？ Just, if anyone ask me, what's in my new sandwich?
哦 好的 有... Oh, okay, it's uh...
你有白鲑鱼 you got whitefish
你知道白鲑鱼吧？ you know whitefish?
- 白鲑鱼？ - 白鲑鱼和黑貂鱼 - Whitefish? - Whitefish and sable
黑貂鱼是什么东西？ What is sable?
黑貂鱼？鱼呗 Sable? It's a fish.
和白鲑鱼差不多 不过是熏制过的 It's like the whitefish, it's a smoked fish.
烟熏鱼 嗯... Smoked fish, yeah...
一个三明治里有两种鱼？ You have two fishes in the sandwich?
对 不过它们搭配得很好 Yeah but they blend very well together.
就像连体婴儿一样 白鲑鱼和黑貂鱼... They're like siamese twins, whitefish and sable...
还有什么？没有配料吗？ What else is in it? No condiments?
奶油芝士 Cream cheese...
嗯 有奶油芝士不过... Yeah some cream cheese that's...
刺山柑... Capers...
也许有点刺山柑吧我也记不清了 There may be some capers I'm not sure,
不过你不喜欢可以挑出来嘛 没什么大问题的 if you don't like'em you can brush'em off, that's not a big deal.
洋葱... Onions...
这听着太难吃了 That sounds awful!
你说啥呢？怎么会难吃？ What are you talking about, awful?
我的三明治是火鸡、卷心菜和俄式调味酱 My sandwich is turkey, coleslaw, russian dressing
经典款 It's a classic.
- 去吃饭的都会点特德丹森款 - 对 但你又不会在... - People come in, they order a Ted Danson - Yeah, but you're not there...
- 你就不去那儿吃呀 - 我知道 - you don't go in there. - I know
但是大家都习惯吃我那款了 but people are used to my sandwich
结果再去吃 突然就变成... 你知道... They show up and all of a sudden they're eating, you know...
特德丹森三明治突然就变成鲱鱼、熏鲑鱼... the Ted Danson sandwich all of a sudden has herring and lox...
- 没有鲱鱼 不是鲱鱼 - 刺山柑... 洋葱... - It's not herring, it's not herring - Capers... Onions...
你可闭嘴吧 不是鲱鱼 好吧？ Shut the fuck up! It's not herring! Ok?
是白鲑鱼和黑貂鱼 都不是鲱鱼 It's whitefish and sable, that's not herring
再说那些人不点特德丹森款 就改点拉里大卫款呗 Instead of ordering a Ted Danson, people go and order a Larry David
有啥区别？ What's the difference?
一个好吃一个难吃！ One tastes good and one sucks!
你不如尝一口再说？尝一口那三明治 Why don't you taste it? Taste the sandwich!
- 尝了再说！ - 我不想尝 它... - Taste it! - I don't wanna taste it, it's...
- 你尝一口都不愿意？ - 我不想尝 - You can't even taste it? - I don't wanna taste it!
- 你不想尝？ - 不 我不想尝你的傻逼三明治！ - You won't taste it? - No I won't taste your stupid sandwich!
- 我不想！ - 哦所以尝一口都不行... - No I won't! - Oh so you're not tasting it...
票 票 谁要... Tickets, tickets? Who needs...
谁要票？ Who needs tickets?
票？ Tickets?
新年快乐 Happy new year.
要票吗？ Tickets?
- 吃了没 - 吃了 - How are you? - Good.
- 你要票吗？ - 你有好东西吗？ - You need tickets? - You got something?
- 我有？我这可是最好的位置 - 是吗？ - Do I have...? I have the best seats. - Yeah?
我有两个好极了的位置 前排座 I have fabulous two seats, right down front.
领颂者口水都能吐你脸上那么前 The cantor will be practically spitting all over you.
真的？ Really?
多少钱？ How much?
两张票给我600刀吧 Give me $600 for the two.
- 我给你300买这两张 - 300可以 - I'll give you $300 for the pair. - I'll take $300.
300我也卖... I'll take the $300...
你不能想象你捡了多大一个便宜 You have no idea what a deal this is.
这交易对你来说太划算了 Incredible deal you got here.
- 拿着 - 好叻 - Here you are. - All right.
- 你没搞我吧？ - 说不定是你在搞我 - You're not screwing me? - You're screwing me maybe.
我让你捡了个人生究极大便宜 I'm giving you the deal of a lifetime.
- 噢 买到啦 - 行了 - Oh, got them! - All good.
- 好了 - 拿到了 - All right! - Got them.
多少钱？ How much?
真的 ？ Really?
天哪 Oh, jeez.
我还是不懂你们为啥要买票 I don't understand why you buy tickets.
- 今天人很多 - 犹太人太多了 - It's a very popular day. - Too many jews to go around.
对 座位不够 It's not enough, exactly.
顺便说 感谢你们还和我们拼车 By the way, thank you for carpooling with us.
我没想到上次之后 你们还愿意坐我们车 I really never expected you'd get in my car again after the other night.
我们很抱歉那次的事 We're sorry about that.
听着 这个领养的事 我在想啊 Listen, this adoption thing, I was thinking about.
有没有认识你小时候的人？姨啊叔啊啥的 Isn't there an aunt or an uncle or somebody from your childhood?
小时候认识的亲戚 全去世了 Any relative who would know, they're all dead.
- 都去世了？一个活着的都没有了？ - 都死了 - They're all dead? Every last one? - All dead.
不过有那么一个人 There's one person though.
是我的保姆 在我... I had a nanny when I was...
- 你有个保姆？ - 我有个保姆 乔汉娜赛德曼 - You had a nanny? - I had a nanny, Johanna Seiderman.
- 是不是哦？ - 在我还是个小屁孩的时候 - Yeah? - When I was a little kid.
安托瓦内特找到她信息了 Antoinette tracked her down.
在某家养老院有一个乔汉娜赛德曼 There's a Johanna Seiderman in a nursing home
- 在皇后区... - 真的吗？ - in Queens... - Really?
我给她写了封信 And I've written her a letter.
真好 这样你就能得到一个准确的"是"或"否"了 This is terrific. That way you'll have definitive "yes, no."
你也许不会喜欢 但你总归是能得到一个答案的 You might not be happy with the answer, but you'll know the answer.
我问你们一件事儿啊 Let me ask you guys a question.
你们做爱的当中会接电话吗 You pick up the phone during sex?
为啥接啊？ Why would you pick up?
你在和你挚爱的人共享亲密的时刻 You're in the middle of an intimate moment with your loved one.
- 这时候接个电话？ - 呃 我... 好吧 - You're gonna pick up? - Well, I... Yeah...
- 好吧 - 干嘛接？ - fine. - Why would you pick up?
我要是好不容易做个爱 我才不接电话呢 If every blue moon I have sex, I'm not gonna pick up.
有个东西叫答录机 You have an answering machine,
- 你答录机不就干这个用的吗？ - 谢了 - why do you have an answering machine? - Thank you.
你在享受亲密时刻 竟然有空接个电话？ You're having an intimate moment and you pick up the phone?
谁会那么干啊？ Who does that?
嘿 拉里 Hey, Larry.
拉里 我是罗伯 Larry, Rob.
哦 抱歉我不能握手 罗伯 Oh, sorry I can't shake, Rob.
- 我... 我手伤了 有人... - 啊 好吧 - Got a bad... a bad hand, somebody... - Okay. All right.
- 这是你妻子吗？ - 不！啥？不！ - So this your wife? - No! What? No!
- 你这啥反应？ - 不 这才是我老婆 - What kind of response is that? - No, that's my wife.
嘿 里面见了 Hey, I'll see you inside.
- 好 里面见 - 好叻 再会 - Okay, see you inside. - All right, take care.
- 至于吗？你反应太大了吧 - 啥？我没有 - Really! It's always a thing. - What? Oh, stop.
"不不不不不！" "No no no no!"
不过 你知道 你戴个阿尔卡彭的帽子... Well, you know, you've got your Al Capone hat on.
阿尔卡彭(Al Capone)：芝加哥黑手党领导人
这帽子刚好还贵着呢 先生 This happens to be a very expensive hat, mister.
- 你真是没礼貌 - 走吧 进去祈祷了 - It's rude. - Let's go in and pray.
好了 进去祈祷 Ok, let's go in and pray.
苏西 对不起啦 Sorry, Susie.
与重真相轻安逸的人为伴 Be among those who cherish truth above ease.
分享他们的成果 Their fruit we eat now;
领会他们的精神 Their essence remains for us
此世以及来生 in the life to come.
- 你怎么搞到那三明治的？ - 你说啥呢？ - How'd you get that sandwich? - What are you talking about?
熟食店那款三明治！ That sandwich at the deli!
利奥自己给我的 我就这么搞到的 Leo gave it to me. That's how I got it.
你怎么... 你贿赂他了？ How do you... Did you bribe him?
哦我贿赂他了 真好笑 I bribed him. That's rich.
你他妈说的是个什么玩意儿？ What the hell are you talking about?
- 你一周去吃几次？ - 我不知道 两次吧？ - How many times a week do you go? - I don't know. Two?
- 我一周去那儿五次 - 有什么大不了的 - I go there five times a week. - Big deal.
我可是菜单上每一样都吃过了 But I eat everything of the menu.
- 我也吃过很多 - 有时我还带走吃 - I eat a lot of stuff too. - I take stuff out.
- 我叫过他们的外卖 - 我买他们的东西给救济处 - I get deliveries. - I give it to charity.
了不起了！ Big deal!
你和他在外面说什么？我看到你和他在说... What were you talking to him outside? I saw you talking to him...
- 和你没关系 - 你们谈啥呢 - None of your business. - What was that about?
新年 谈新年... The new year, the new year...
"求求你利奥 告诉我为什么没有我的三明治吧" "Would you tell me why I didn't get a sandwich, Leo."
- 话说你三明治很臭 臭死了！- "我要三明治 利奥" -Your sandwich stinks by the way. -"I wanna get a sandwich, Leo!"
你才臭 You stink.
抱歉先生 Excuse me, sir.
我需要看一下您的票 I'm gonna need to see your ticket.
为什么？ Why?
您的票 先生 Your ticket, sir.
有什么问题吗？为什么要看票？ Is there a problem? What's the problem?
这个人吗？ This the guy?
- 好叻 - 你个打小报告的 - Okay, pal. - You little snitch.
- 您需要出来了 - 为什么？我有票啊 - You're gonna have to step out of there. - Why? I have a ticket.
- 不敢相信！ - 您想把这事儿闹大吗？ - I can't believe it! - Do you feel like making a scene?
- 不想 - 嘘！ - No. - Shh!
- 哦 你先嘘 - 嘘！ - Oh, shush you. - Shh!
嘘你自个儿去 Shush yourself!
好吧 好极了 小八婆 All right, great. Little tattletale.
你个告密鬼 You little nitch.
他把咖啡搞翻的 顺便一说 He spilled the coffee, by the way
因为我没法把手指塞进你讲究的小茶杯！ 'cause I couldn't put my fingers through your dainty cup!
你给我非犹太的妻子留了个很坏的印象 You're setting a very bad example for my gentile wife.
你知道吗？瞧瞧她第一次进礼拜堂 You know that? Look It's her first time in temple.
- 拉里 怎么回事？ - 他们要把我们赶出去 - Larry, what's happening? - They're kicking us out.
- 呃 那你们还等我们吗？ - 还有一个半小时呢 - Well, are you gonna wait for us? - It's gonna be an hour and a half.
那我们怎么回家？我们和你们拼的车啊 How are we gonna get home? We carpooled with you.
找人捎你们一程呗 这儿这么多人 随便问个谁... You'll get a ride. There's plenty of people. Ask somebody...
走吧 Let's go.
找人捎一程 Get a ride.
朋友们 我们继续看到143页 Friends, let us continue on page 143.
- 我刚看到你打偏两米了 - 是 - I saw you roll about seven feet past. - Yeah.
听这个：医生和他老婆离婚了在和秘书约会 Get this: The doctor divorced his wife and is seeing his secretary.
- 刚给我说的 - 真的假的？ - Just told me. - Unbelievable.
这人啊... This guy...
你有保姆的回复了吗？ Did you hear from the nanny?
没 还没呢 No, not yet.
- 你可能如坐针毡吧 - 是啊 - You must be on pins and needles. - Yeah.
但你知道 我想如果她收到信了 But you know I think if she gets the letter,
她会联系我的 I think she's gonna get in touch with me.
我不知道 等着瞧吧 I don't know, we'll see.
- 真刺激 - 对吧？ - That's wild. - Isn't it?
他这是易普症啊 He's got the yips.
啥症？ The what?
易普症 The yips.
- 易普症啊！ - 呃好吧 我不知道那是啥 - The yips! - Yeah well, I don't know what that is.
- 你从没听过易普症？ - 没 - You never heard of the yips? - No.
好吧 是在打高尔夫的时候 Okay, it's in golf.
站好准备击球入洞 然后手不自主抽动 You line up to putt and your hands shake.
他当时就像这样在抽搐 He was shaking like this.
呃... Well...
我是觉得 也许只是高尔夫相关的病况 I mean, maybe it's just a golf condition.
只有击球入洞的时候 因为紧张才会出现啥的 He gets nervous when he putts or something.
我不能冒这个险 他可是要在我爸身上动刀 I can't take that chance. He's operating on my father.
那你得给他打电话别让他做手术了 You need to call him and tell him not to do it.
他们得换其他人来做了 They're gonna have to get somebody else.
- 我讨厌做这种事 - 你没得选 - I hate doing stuff like this. - You don't have a choice.
我真讨厌打这种电话 I hate these calls.
拿起电话 打给医生 Pick up the phone and call the doctor.
也许可以你给他打 Maybe you could call him.
如果是我爸 我早就在通电话了 If it was my father I would've already been on the phone.
你得离开这个房间 因为有其他人在... You should go out of the room 'cause I can't do this...
...我干不了这事儿 真的 你能离开吗？ in front of somebody else, honest to go could you leave the room?
就像打电话请求约会啥的 It's like calling for a date or something,
- 你知道 我需要隐私 - 哦 - you know, I need privacy. - Oy.
我没有... I never...
- 我没有说你是领养的 - 不 你就是那么说的 - I never said you were adopted. - Yeah, that's what you said.
不 我从来没有那么说 No, I never said that.
我不会对你说那种话的 不会的 I wouldn't say that to you, no.
那不是真的 不是的 It's not true, no.
- 你不是领养的 - 没事 你可以告诉我 我能接受的 - You're not adopted. - It's okay, you can tell me. I can take it.
- 你不是 你不是 - 你确定？ - You're not, you're not. - Are you sure?
听着 那个拉里大卫三明治 Listen, that Larry David sandwich,
我没吃完 I didn't finish it.
我记得看到桌上还留了半个 I remember seeing a half a sandwich still on that table.
你想把另一半也吃了？ You want the other half?
你猜啥 我刚碰上你的医生 You know what, I just ran into your doctor.
我约了他在那儿吃饭 I'm meeting him there for lunch.
- 场面肯定会很可怕 - 啥？ - What a nightmare that's gonna be. - What?
你确定我不是领养的？ You sure I'm not adopted?
我从没说过你是 I never said that.
从没有过 Never.
好吧 Okay.
我们等着看赛德曼女士怎么说吧 We'll see what Mrs. Seiderman has to say.
我想点个拉里大卫款带走 谢了 I'd like a Larry David to go, please.
哦 我们不卖那款三明治了 Oh, we don't have that sandwich anymore.
- 啥？ - 他们把名字改了 - What? - They changed the name.
然后我说 这事儿每次都那样 And I say that it happens every single time.
我发誓 I swear to god.
不 我真没骗你们 我不会骗你们的 No I've never lied to you, not to you guys.
拉里 你来这儿干嘛？ Larry, what are you doing here?
你偷了我的三明治？你做得出这种事？ You stole my sandwich? Is that what you did?
- 你他妈这说的是个啥？ - 我说的啥？ - The hell are you talking about? - What am I talking about?
你到底在说什么？ What are you talking about?
- 你偷了我三明治！ - 那是什么意思？ - You stole my sandwich! - What the fuck does that mean?
看啊！看！ Look, look!
- 看那牌子！ - 你怪我咯？ - Look at the board! - Are you blaming me?
我看见你在礼拜堂外和他说话了 I saw you talking to him outside the temple.
你脑子不正常了吧 You're out of your fucking mind.
- 你以为我没看到你在和谁说话？ - 你发疯了 - You don't think I saw who you were talking to? - You're losing it!
我经常和人在外面说话 I always talk to people outside.
是因为犹太新年！我在祝他新年快乐！ It's Rosh Hashanah! It's the new year!
熟食店老板我这么说！当铺老板我也这么说！ I talk to deli owners! I talk to pawnbrokers!
"利奥 我能有一款三明治吗？" "Leo, can I please have a sandwich?"
- 哦 别扯了！ - "求你了求你了" - Oh, bullshit! - "Please, please!"
你嫉妒我有一个三明治 在那上面 You were so jealous that I had a sandwich, up there
你简直忍不了 是不是？ and you just couldn't take it, could you?
你非得有你自己的小小三明治 You had to get your little sandwich!
我有一条你肯定感兴趣的信息 I got a piece of information you might be interested in.
我等不及想知道了 是啥嘛？ I can't wait. What is it?
我是领养的 I'm adopted.
- 扯吧？ - 扯？扯？ - Bullshit. - Bullshit? Bullshit?
不！才不是扯呢！ No, it's not bullshit.
你什么意思 还领养的？ What do you mean you're adopted?
我就是领养的 I'm adopted.
你怎么知道的？ How do you know?
我爸给我说了 My father told me.
你不知道你亲身父母是谁？ You don't know who your parents are?
我知道反正不是那俩疯子！我知道这个！ I know they're not those nuts! I know that!
- 但我知道你的是哪俩 - 操 - But I know who yours are. - Fuck.
好好吃你的白鲑鱼吧 Enjoy your whitefish. Enjoy.
- 拉里 - 嗯？ - Larry. - Yeah?
拉里 你是领养的？ Larry, you are adopted?
- 是啊 - 我也是！咱俩算兄弟了！ - Yeah. - I adopted too! You are my brother!
我们是领养两兄弟！ We are in the brotherhood of the adopted!
拉里 过来 Larry, come on over here.
你知道我打算怎么做吗？ You know what I'm going to do?
我打算让你随便挑一款三明治 I'm going to let you have any sandwich you want.
- 真的？ - 嗯 随便哪款 选吧 选哪款都是你的 - Really? - Yeah, any one you want! Take it! Go ahead, take it.
- 哦天呐 - 选吧 - Oh, boy. - Take it.
- 真难选呀 - 没事 没事 我等你 - It's a tough decision. - Okay okay, I wait.
我想我会选特德丹森那款 I think I'm going to have to go with that Ted Danson.
特德丹森？你的了 Ted Danson? This yours.
- 谢谢你！ - 那狗娘养的反正从来也不来店里 - Thank you! - That son of a bitch don't come in anyway!
- 给你了！ - 谢谢你 - You got it! - Thank you.
- 嘿拉里 - 苏埃尔医生 - Hey, Larry. - Dr. Sewell.
我想给你介绍我的一个朋友 利奥 这是苏埃尔医生 I want you to meet a friend of mine. Leo, this is Dr. Sewell.
- 利奥 - 吃了没 苏埃尔医生 - Leo. - How are you, Dr. Sewell?
我想我要点一个拉里大卫款带走 I think I'll get that Larry David to go.
想都别想 Do not even think about it.
我在等赛德曼女士的电话 I'm expecting a call from Mrs. Seiderman.
- 谁？ - 你知道的 我的保姆 - Who? - You know, my nanny.
别接这个电话 Do not pick up that phone.
没人接电话 Nobody's picking up.
我能回答...他的问题 I had an answer... to his question.
假如他接电话了的话 If only he had picked up.
赛德曼女士？ Mrs. Seiderman?
赛德曼女士 Mrs. Seiderman.
赛德曼女士！ Mrs. Seiderman!
赛德曼女士?! Mrs. Seiderman?!
翻译：610 校对：moki、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net